Back On The Bus

Good morning all – hope everyone is well, happy and dry!

Thank you for all the responses to last week’s Blog about how we lived when we were a whole lot younger than we are now.  Here are just a few of the responses I had (names have been removed) and I thank you all so much – I think I probably had more responses to this than to any previous Blog!

We, about eight of us, older ones looking after a couple of younger brothers and sisters would get on a train to go to Epping forest for the day. Ages went from about 11 to 6 years old. We never had any problems.

Happy memories of happy days. We had so much freedom and our parents trusted us not to do anything too stupid! Friends of our parents plus the neighbours were always Aunty, Uncle or Mr and Mrs and they had collective responsibility to correct any mistakes we made.

Oh yes much healthier times all round no media bullies and allowed to play with extended family and everyone got along (for the main part) if we didn’t eat what mum cooked then go without and we made our own entertainment with go karts dens etc

I remember standing between the front seats of the car watching where we were going – only got told to sit down when I quickly turned to look at something and whipped my dad round the face with my ponytail!! Now I won’t move the car until everyone has their seat belts on

We actually used to sit on the hood of my father’s car while speeding down the new M1 motorway!

That freedom was precious and we probably didn’t appreciate it enough.

Love those memories of your youth Chris – very similar to what dad used to describe. He said his family had one of the first T.Vs in the street and all the kids would come in to watch the children’s programmes …… those were the days my friend …. 

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This week I went on my first bus journey since March – only very local and I was a bit apprehensive at doing it but needs must!

The instructions were clear – sanitise your hands, wear a mask and do not sit next to someone – sit as far as possible from another passenger.  OK, got that.

All the buses I’ve passed in the past few months seem to have no passengers on at all, so I was quite confident as I waited for the bus to arrive.  There was an elderly lady in front of me, with her shopping trolley but I thought two of us would hardly fill the bus!

It arrived, the driver got off and we waited for the next driver to hop aboard.  And we waited, and waited, and waited.  Eventually I abandoned the queue, marched off to the office and enquired how long the bus would be waiting as it was already ten minutes late.

Answer – ‘Dunno – depends.’

‘On what?’

‘How long it takes for the driver to get here from the Depot – shouldn’t be too much longer!’

Eventually another bus came in, the driver stayed on board so we got on that one instead, leaving the other one still waiting at the stop.

All instructions followed, I went up towards the back of the bus, thinking that no-one would have to pass me to get on or off.  Suddenly, there seemed to be hoards of people (well quite a few) all getting on.  Goodness knows where they had come from – in the waiting room perhaps?  Everyone had masks on, no-one bothered to sanitise and people just sat anywhere regardless of who they were near.  (My strategically placed bag stopped anyone sitting next to me, combined with my death stare!)

As I looked around – people were taking off their masks to talk to other people!  What?  Are they mad?  What to do?  I tried remonstrating with a woman near me in a gentle and kind way – suggesting she might not have realised that her mask had slipped off and was under her chin, but to no avail.  I could feel a bit of panic setting in but the bus had started – I have never been so glad to get off the bus in my life – and managed to put my stick on someone’s foot on the way off – on the grounds if he had been following instructions, he wouldn’t have been sitting next to someone else and hanging over his seat into the aisle!

It will be a while until I next venture to repeat the journey!

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As a mother, Grandmother and a Great Grandmother I am no stranger to the need to raise your voice at children sometimes, particularly as in ‘No’, or ‘Stop’ or ‘Wait’ when they are heading to a road or something.  But what possible necessity can there be for shouting as a baby in a pram?  And I can’t think of any rational reason for swearing at a small child (or a large one, come to that) – why would anyone, even at the end of their tether, do that?

I saw a mother pushing a pram, and she was really yelling at the occupant, using the foulest language that I do not expect to hear in public addressed to an adult, much less a child!  Should I have intervened and given her someone else to yell at?  I was just a bit frozen with shock so did nothing – and now I feel really guilty, wondering if keeping silent was actually condoning it!

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As many of you who read these blogs will know, I quite often dash off a text or a message in response to something or sometimes just to say hello.

I have been accused of being a Grammar Nazi, but I do try to make my messages grammatically correct and I use punctuation for the original purpose – to clarify what I am saying.  Semi colons, colons and so on all have their place in my opinion.

I have learnt through input from people who are up with these things that if I type a word IN CAPITAL LETTERS it means I am shouting – so I do not often use this, and also because I think it looks odd!

However, I only learned this week – and I apologise in advance to all those of you that I have been offending for years – that I should not use a full stop at the end of the text/message.

Apparently this is very rude and indicates I am cross, or rude or trying to insult the recipient.  Now I admit that I can’t actually see the logic in this – but apparently it is definitely something that is a no-no, and shouldn’t be done.

So if you receive a message or text from me complete with full stop, please just ignore the punctuation and accept that someone with over 70 years of learning when and how to punctuate is not going to change overnight.  I may start a ‘Retain the Full Stop’ campaign I think.

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On a similar thought – we have a local daily Newspaper which apparently we have to buy for the football news on the back pages.  Most days I flick through the rest, while being absolutely appalled at the standard of spelling, grammar and so on – not to mention the factually incorrect information.  This week there was a piece about a pub where there had been a fight – they named the pub as the Westerley.  It is actually called the West Leigh.  Close but not good enough!

On a wet afternoon, there is something pleasing about going through the paper carefully using a red pen to circle the mistakes.  Sometimes I am tempted to send it back with errors marked but I suspect it would be a waste of postage.

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The mornings are starting to feel a bit like Autumn, but I hope summer hasn’t completely left us yet although it is probably exhausted after sharing so much sunshine with us.

I hope you all enjoy this Bank Holiday Weekend.  Do please take care of yourselves and stay safe.

Have a good week. xx

Then and Now

Hello everyone – hope you are all well and possibly wondering how it is possible that Sunday has come around again!  Have we actually had a full week?  Or has it been decreed that we will miss out a couple of days?  Very mysterious!

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Now, most of my readers know me – although there are some across the Pond who don’t!  If you do, you will know that I am no Spring Chicken – I have reached the stage of being an Old Duck in my 70s which came in to sharp focus on Monday when my baby brother reached the ripe old age of 70!  This doesn’t seem possible although some maths proves it so be so.

It is often the habit of older people to hark back to their youth, and the phrase ‘back in my day’ may sometimes be heard – often accompanied by a rolling of the eyes of the listener!  It’s very easy to think that the past was rubbish and now we have everything sorted out and this is the perfect time.

I remember when all the Daddies of my acquaintance went to work, and were known as the Breadwinner or the Head of the House on official forms.  Very few Mummies went to work because they had the most important job in the world – that of bringing up their children. Children were, in the main, trusted to be self-reliant and were free to play outside without fear.  I suppose we were what today calls Street Wise.

This was in my mind when I read about a woman locally who has an 8 year old who is ‘not allowed out of my sight, in case someone snatches him’.  This fear is, of course, fostered and enlarged by social media – if a child is five minutes late coming home from school Facebook is filled with the ubiquitous tales of the Red Van driving about snatching children, or the dodgy-looking man who followed someone’s child the previous day!  In fact, child snatching is so rare it is all over the news should it happen.  Children now are in far more danger in the home, particularly if there is a stream of ‘boyfriends’ in and out!

At 8 we could be gone all day, often with some biscuits or a sandwich and a bottle of pop with no mobile phones – however did we cope?  Well, I suppose we played.  We met other children, even if we’d never seen them before, and started playing a game.  We could wander far and wide as long as we could find the way home again by the time the street lights came on!

We learnt to ride bikes, by getting on one and trying it ourselves, falling off, dusting ourselves down and getting back on.  If you were injured, someone’s dirty hankie would be tied around your knee and on you went.  If you fell in the stream, someone would usually lend you a jumper or something but you didn’t run home or you’d be in trouble and have to stay in!

Back in 2013, I wrote the following about a meeting I had attended to share memories of the estate:

There were two young mums there – probably in their early to mid-twenties – who were absolutely riveted by what we had to say.  Their faces were an absolute study of shock at some of the things we talked about and they just couldn’t believe what they were hearing!

We talked about caning and getting the slipper at school  – and they wanted to know if our parents had called the police to report an assault!  They were astounded when we all agreed that you didn’t tell your parents, or you’d have got another good hiding for being naughty!

We also talked about the freedom we had as children and how we would go out in the morning and not come back until our stomachs made us return at tea time.  The estate was surrounded by woods and we could go and play there all day.  The young ladies thought this was appalling – what if someone had tried to snatch us?  They are too fearful to let their children outside the house to play without an adult!  We pointed out that all the children were outside playing and you could always find someone to play with if your particular friend wasn’t about.

Another topic that raised eyebrows was that, in the very early days, there was no public transport on the estate – and so few cars that you actually knew who they belonged to!  If you wanted to go to the nearest town, you had to walk – usually pushing a pram (not a buggy!).  How did you have time, they wondered.  They seemed to have no concept that, in the early 50s, in almost all the families on the estate the men went to work and the women looked after the homes and children – and going shopping daily was part of that life, as there were no fridges or freezers.  It was also a time when anyone’s mum would keep an eye on you, and tell you off if you were naughty, feed you if you were hungry and send you home at the right time.

So many stories came up – and so many memories were dragged out from the dark recesses of my brain.  It was an hour well spent – even if one of the younger people did venture the opinion that we sounded as if our lives had been ‘something off the telly’.

Pretty obviously it is all still in my head!

No cycle helmets, not even compulsory motor cycle helmets;

no seat belts in cars, but lots of fun to be had when we all piled in the back of a works van and rolled around every time we went around a corner;

no Health and Safety – just plenty of common sense;

no social media – you could make mistakes and no-one would know;

no on-line friends – just proper people that you could actually meet, play and talk with;

no choice of TV channels – but plenty of books and games if you didn’t want to watch something;

no foreign holidays – just days out locally or sometimes a week with a family member;

no central heating – just an open fire in the living room and piles of blankets and coats on the beds when it was really cold, and ice formed on the inside of the windows.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad life.  We didn’t know we were poor because everyone we played with or went to school with was in the same position.  This only changed when I started at the grammar school!  I soon came to understand that some people were, in my eyes, rich and others weren’t but they were still just children – some of whom I liked and some I didn’t and where I met friends that are still my friends today!!

Better times?  Worse times?  Neither really – just different times and that is what people forget today.  Throughout history there are times we, with today’s attitudes, find dreadful but they were different times and we shouldn’t be so hasty to judge them.  We certainly shouldn’t apologise for them – they were not our fault.

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Sorry – one of those days all provoked by this potty woman not letting her child out!

If you want to share a memory or anything, please just let me know.

In the meantime, take care and stay safe xx

A Week Away

Good morning all – I hope everyone is well and enjoying the slightly cooler weather!  Do take care of yourselves, keep your masks handy and keep washing your hands – we are not in the clear yet!

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Last week the Main Man, Senior and Junior Girls and I spent the week in London!  We are trying hard to follow instructions and going abroad for the week for ‘essential reasons’ was a non-starter. This country has so many beautiful places to go and the weather has been so warm that it would have been ridiculous to travel overseas!

After much conversation, we decided on London – my heart wanted to go to Devon but that was out of the question because of the crowds and Cornwall doesn’t want any tourists this year!  However, a friend had spent a week in London and said it was very quiet so we thought we’d risk it.

The Senior Girl booked us into a Hotel we have used many times before, but it had taken the opportunity of the Lockdown to decorate and renovate it – and it was just lovely.  There were virtually no other guests, but a lot of staff so everything was running like clockwork.

We travelled by train – and were the only people in the carriage.  From Waterloo, we got a taxi to the Hotel where we were greeted very warmly and were able to check in very quickly as the rooms were ready – and had been for weeks!

The Hotel is just a few minutes from Charing Cross station, if we wanted the tube but we decided against that.  It is also less than five minutes’ walk from Covent Garden, where we wandered around feeling amazed at how quiet it was.

We took a taxi when we needed to go very far, and, without fail, the drivers were lovely – leaping out to sort the Main Man’s walker out for him, pointing out interesting things, full of cheerful chatter and one even refused a tip in the hope it would encourage us to take more taxi rides as they have been so very short of customers.

The roads and pavements were so very quiet that it was all a little unnerving – but made life so easy.  We visited St Paul’s one morning and were the only visitors there – and were handed a key to a lift so the MM could get down to the Crypt.  Quite a few staff around, desperate to tell us interesting things but such a different atmosphere.

The Museum of London, a short walk from St Paul’s is well worth a visit for all ages – and is free!  Just so much to see, all arranged from Prehistoric Times, via the Romans, up to Modern Times – something for everyone there!  We loved it!

Did you know that Uber also run boats on the Thames?  The Tourist Boats are not yet back in operation, but the Uber Clipper was lovely.  It stops at each pier so you can get off if you want to explore and you can then catch another when you’re ready – just like a bus.  We travelled to Greenwich and spent a lovely day there.  We all explored the Cutty Sark, the others walked up to the Maritime Museum to visit the Astronomy Photographic Exhibition which they absolutely loved.  I didn’t go, but wandered about until I was just too hot, so headed for a cooling drink at the Old Brewery.  There a very friendly waiter brought me a glass of iced water, because he thought I might be dehydrated, followed by my cup of tea, and a flapjack (no charge) because he thought the sugar would help recharge my energy!

Once we all met up, we went back to the Old Brewery for a delicious lunch in the shade with the same waiter.  There were a few other people away, but not that many and there were plenty of empty tables so we didn’t feel rushed at all.

On another day the Senior Girl took the MM along the Embankment to see the most beautiful Battle of Britain Memorial – which I have seen on previous visits.  They spent a while exploring all the beautiful gardens on the opposite side of the road, sitting in the shade when necessary and looking at the statues there. The Junior Girl and I went off in a Taxi to Piccadilly.  Why?  Because the Waterstones there has five floors, all filled with books!  We both spent some time wandering and buying too many books (if there is such a thing), before leaving and crossing the road for a drink (the Waterstones Café wasn’t open!).  Waterstones was virtually empty except for a small TV crew near the door who wanted me to buy a copy of the Harry and Megan book, newly published that day.  As if!  Another opportunity to star missed!

London is probably famous for being expensive but we were fortunate to be there while the Discount Deal was on (for the whole of August) so we did very well and had some lovely meals.

I would recommend this break to anyone at the moment – hardly any tourists, opportunities to see things you usually can’t get near, such lovely people, smiles everywhere and a lovely hotel.  Masks everywhere and sanitiser all over the place, including fixed to lamp posts, so easy to stay aware.  What more could you ask for?  Well, it would probably be churlish of me to wish it hadn’t been quite so hot, but I am probably a lone voice!

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Tomorrow, my baby brother will be 70!  I am unsure how that has happened and makes me realise that perhaps I am actually getting old too – but it did rather pull me up with a jolt when I thought about it!  Happy Birthday to the best brother anyone could wish for.

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Typing this I could overhear a conversation outside (all the windows are open).  It made me wonder, why do some people have to swear all the time?  I swear sometimes, but only in front of people I know well – certainly never in the street so strangers can overhear me!  But it appears they only have a couple of words that have, sadly, lost their shock value and are used over and over again in the same sentence.  To pinch an example just uttered – ‘We left the f…….. club and it was only f……. raining.  The c…. on the door wouldn’t let us f……. back in, the f…….’

Now I it’s probably only me that hates this sort of language, but the person speaking was a tall, slim, attractive, blonde young woman (well, could be a late-teenager I suppose but I would have guessed in her 20s) with, sadly, a large tattoo on her arm – and I was really shocked to hear her!

Do you remember when if a man uttered the word ‘damn’ – someone would say ‘ladies present’ and an apology would be given?

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I hope you all have a good week, hopefully with those you love.  The forecast is that the weather will be a bit cooler for the week (which pleases me!) but if the sun races back, please stay hydrated!

Take are of yourselves and stay safe.

Xx

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Phew, Bit Warm Today!

Good afternoon all – I hope you are all well, if a tad warm!

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Whoop Whoop – great news alert!

Our elder granddaughter went into labour a few days early and gave birth to a perfect, gorgeous little boy, our second great-grandson!  Mother and baby are both doing well!

Much excitement combined with a bit of sorrow that we can’t whip up to Lancashire to see him!

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It was a sunny, warm afternoon and all was peaceful – but not for long.  Suddenly there was a lot of screaming, laughter and shouting from near by (although it definitely was not the children who live in the house concerned, as they were outside my front garden on bikes!)

The two boys (goodness knows who they were or what they were doing there in the swimming pool – but that’s another story) obviously subscribe to the belief that a six-foot-high fence means that you cannot be overheard! They are wrong.

I suddenly heard a stream of language that I wished I wasn’t hearing as I hate it, when I became aware that this wasn’t just swearing for swearing’s sake but was part of a story about what you should do when you want to **** a girl and she says no!  These boys are little boys, still at Junior School, but they were talking with all the knowledge of males ten years older and no giggling or laughing.  One (let’s call him A) was instructing the other that if ‘just telling’ her didn’t work, you just give her a smack and carry on anyway!  The other one (B) asked ‘what if she gets cross’?  (A) replied that it didn’t matter because she was only a girl and it was a girl’s job to do as she was told!!!  This was followed by some interesting detail about what to do with a portion of the male anatomy and  …… well that’s enough, I think!

To say I was horrified would be an understatement but I was also deeply saddened and a bit embarrassed.  What is happing to children today and where are they picking up these ideas that women are just there for the male pleasure, and can be hit at will?

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I also saw a news report which interested me and saddened me in equal measure.

The car manufacturer Audi was marketing their new family car, and the press advertisement showed a little girl leaning on the car and eating a banana.

I would guess the girl was about 5/6 and was dressed in normal child clothes – but there was then uproar!  People were complaining and getting very agitated that this was sexualising children and would lead to paedophilia and so on, complaints were made to the company, the police, and just about everyone!

Why I hear you ask?

Because the little girl was eating a banana and that has sexual connotations as everyone knows (apparently)!

Please go and check your fruit bowls and make sure you never give a banana to a child!

Another ‘What is this world coming to’ moment!

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I enjoy quiz shows on the television and often challenge myself, and sometimes even beat myself!

I watched an episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire – and was doing really well until we came to the £64,000 question.  It was to do with Spice Girls’ songs and there were four choices.  Not being a fan I had never heard of any of them so I was out.  Unfortunately, the contestant had never heard of them either, neither had his ‘phone a friend’; the audience voted and ended up with four different answers, all very close, but no winner; 50/50 left two answers so in the end he plumped for guesswork and managed to pick the right answer!  He won his £64,000 and retired gracefully.

The next day Social Media was awash with people who just couldn’t believe that he hadn’t known the answer.  Time and again, people cried ‘but everyone knows that’!  Sorry – but obviously not.

Just a gentle reminder – any question is only easy if you know the answer!  Any pop music or sport and I have no chance!

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Anyone aged 75 or over?  No, me neither – however the Main Man is!  This means that we have been entitled to a free television licence, which the BBC is now cancelling and we will all have to pay unless we receive Pension Credit.  (This is not as easy to claim as you might think as they take into account all your savings etc, not just your pension amount and if you are a couple it is your combined income that counts, not just your own).

There is now a big drive for people to ‘gum up the works’ by refusing to pay by Direct Debit and to pay by cheque.  If you are brave enough, make an error on the cheque and forget to sign it or fill in the amount incorrectly – the hope being this will prove to be such a nuisance they will realise it is costing more than the licence fee to deal with.

Today the BBC threatened to ‘send in bailiffs to anyone who hasn’t paid, to seize items to the value of the licence’ – which I don’t believe they can do unless it has gone to court so probably an idle threat to frighten people!

I shall be interested to see how this pans out and who will win – the corporation or the people power of the ‘Grey Brigade’.  What do you think?

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Sometimes in life we are drifting along quite happily until something happens that completely blindsides us and we can’t remember how to be ourselves.  Then a member of the family or a friend turns up, just to be there – not to help, advise, lecture or anything else – but just to be there.

They are the people that are the gold in your life.  Treasure them.

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I hope everyone is staying well, being sensible and taking responsibility for your own actions – please take care and stay safe!

xx